The Archdeacon: Chapter Eight

Chapter Eight

The Bishop Checks In

Word had started to get out around the rest of the diocese that the Archdeacon had begun his visitation in Milbank Deanery. Rumours of all sorts were flying (as rumour does) about which deanery would be next. It was said that he had a quota; that a certain number of churches in the diocese must close.  It was also said that the Bishop had already decided upon those churches and that the Archdeacon’s visitation was just pro forma, to give the impression of due diligence and proper process. Behind every rumour there is always some small semblance of truth. Surely, the Bishop did have an idea of which churches ought to be closed, at least according to the numbers – and she had all those numbers at her disposal – but I also think that she genuinely wanted to get it right.  She really wanted to know the whole story of each church and to understand what went on (or did not, as the case may be) in each parish. I may have falsely led the reader to believe that the Bishop was some kind of monster. I can confidently say that she was not. It is true that she was assertive, perhaps even aggressive; she knew her mind but she also trusted people.  She valued expertise and competence and took a low view of incompetence and laziness, but is there anything wrong with high standards? She was so different from her predecessor, the saintly old Bishop Worthington, a pious and gentle old soul. The difference was so striking that many despised her for it.  But to her credit, she dealt with so many problems that the old saint had simply ignored and hoped would go away.  Many deeply appreciated the order that she had restored, as difficult as some of the decisions she had made were. In my experience, there are two kinds of bishops – the pastor and the administrator.  It’s not that the administrative bishop is not pastoral, nor is it that the pastoral bishop cannot be an administrator. All those gifts must be present in anyone who holds such a high office.  However, it seems like one is always more capable in one of these areas. Consequently, they are then criticized by the clergy and people for the area in which they are weak, their strengths going unappreciated. Bishop Verity was criticized for not being Bishop Worthington, as he had been criticized for not being his predecessor.  I am sure that Bishop Verity’s successor will have to live imperfectly in her shadow, too. 

All of this being said, the Bishop really did want to know of the good that was going on in her parishes that might not be reflected in the numbers alone, and that is what our hero, the Archdeacon, was sussing out.  Word was also getting around that unless a parish was doing some sort of innovative, entrepreneurial ministry that it was on the chopping block. “Missional” was the key word of the day and everyone was striving to be missional even if no one was quite sure what that word really meant. Innovation was important. It was important to be doing something outside of the church building.  There was some nebulous talk about “making disciples”, but how does someone know if they have really “made a disciple” out of someone? Not surprisingly, only a couple of days after the Archdeacon had begun his visitation, clergy all over the diocese began posting on Facebook examples of the innovative, entrepreneurial, missional ministry they were doing.  There was so much “humble-bragging” about “God at work in the world”, in their parishes, that one would think God must have been exhausted at how busy he (or she) was. It was amazing how many “Fresh Expressions” of Church were popping up so quickly. The Spirit was moving mightily, and mighty quickly as the Archdeacon’s visitation drew nigh. All of a sudden, there were an awful lot of church growth experts in the Diocese. One wonders why they were considering closing any of these parishes?

I’m told that in the old days, clergy used to call each other on Monday mornings to boast about their Sunday numbers.  They would try to outdo one another. You always wanted to be the first on the phone to a neighbouring colleague so that you could be the one to ask, “So what did you get yesterday?” And when the respondent would hesitatingly reveal the number, the caller would exclaim “Ha! I had you beat by one!”

I had thought that this numbers-based competition had largely disappeared in these latter times, because everyone’s (or almost everyone’s) numbers were in free-fall. Today’s clerical competition is largely of the online sort I have outlined above, clerics trying to outdo one another in innovation, piety, and the number of hours worked that week. However, after the Archdeacon began his visitation, “bums in pews” suddenly seemed to make a return in importance.

The Archdeacon had been putting off calling the Bishop and had not responded to her emails, so he was unsurprised when her number appeared on his call display. He was tentative about sharing too much. He had begun to form his opinions and work on his report for Milbank Deanery, but he really wanted to conclude the work before he spoke with her. He did, however, have the insatiable urge to report on the sale of St. Anskar’s stained glass windows.  It would be improper and very indiscreet to share with the reader Bishop Verity’s colorful and animated response to this disclosure. Suffice it to say, she was not pleased.

“Did you know that one of those windows was in memory of the Chancellor’s great-grandmother?” she exclaimed.

“Oh dear,” he said, not quite sure how else to respond.

“What sort of idiot sells a window in memory of a member of the Chancellor’s family on eBay?”

They both knew what sort of idiot would do just such a thing so there was no need for the Archdeacon to respond.

“Well,” she continued, “I will be calling the Rev. Rebecca Hope and having a little chat with her and reminding her of how things work in this diocese.”

Good luck with that, he thought to himself.  He could just imagine the Bishop paying a visit to the church and Ernie the church warden showing her how the church had been gutting and proudly exclaiming, “Don’t you just love it Bishop?” And without much effort, the Archdeacon could imagine the Bishop responding emphatically, “No, Ernie. I do not.” Rebecca Hope would surely be unavailable do to some “very important” something-or-other. Yet, the Archdeacon wondered what was really to be done about it, and clergy discipline was decidedly not in his portfolio. He was only doing church closures, thankfully.

The Bishop asked him some more preliminary questions about his visits, without offering much by way of commentary or interruption. She just listened intently to what he had seen and heard. Finally, she posed the question he had been dreading: “What about St. Osmund’s, Midway?” This was Christa’s parish.

“Umm, well…it’s on my list.”

“Yes, I know it’s your list. I made the list.  Have you done your visitation there yet?”

“Soon, Bishop.”

“Very soon, I hope.”  There was silence on the line for a moment. Finally, she continued, “Tom, it’s very important that any personal feelings that you have don’t get in the way. We must not been seen to be playing favourites.”

“Of course, Bishop.”

“Good. Now get it done.”

...THE ARCHDEACON CONTINUES TOMORROW.